Learning From David

It has been my observation that one of the more difficult passages for soldier’s (including me) to review and learn from is 2 Samuel 11. This is one of the most poignant accounts of human failure in Scripture notwithstanding the betrayal of Jesus by Judas. Yet, at the same time, it also has great value as it offers us redemptive hope about the greatness of God’s extremely gracious forgiving heart. This passage provides a plain, easy to understand warning about the terrible consequences of sin, coupled with the aftermath of forgiven sin. I traveled down a similar path during the divorce process from my first wife. I am not proud of the time, nor do I talk about it very much. It is my past not my present.

When you start reading 2 Samuel, David is moving in concert with Gods will. He is popular, successful, and able to inspire his people. His throne has been established. His enemies have been subdued, he is respected in the kingdom, and plans are in progress. Then trouble starts.

David sees a beautiful woman near his palace in the evening, he calls her to himself. He sleeps with her and she gets pregnant. Her husband (Uriah) is part of David’s Mighty Men. David knew Uriah. David has Uriah murdered to coverup his sin (2 Samuel 11). As a soldier, I can think of no more heinous action – my commander killing a fellow soldier and taking his wife. I would guess that trust in David as a commander drops to zero among his troops. The prophet Nathan confronts David on behalf of God (2 Samuel 12). David repents. God forgives. David is told that Elohim has forgiven the sin, David’s death will not be required, nor will his throne be required (2 Samuel 12:13). But for David there are consequences for his sin. When much is given to a man; much is expected (Luke 12:48). David’s troubles are not over.

Later, David writes — Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them (Psalms 32:1–2). Centuries later, Paul writes of God’s forgiveness for David to demonstrate salvation has always been for the unworthy, we are saved by grace through faith (Romans 4:4–8).

I suspect, it is with humility and tears that God chose to document the tragedy of Uriah, Bathsheba, and David in scripture. This could have slipped into obscurity. But God chose to mark this event in history books. Every time I run across the message in both 2 Samuel 11 and Psalms 51, I am reminded of the extraordinary grace offered to us by the one true living God. It is especially important that we not only see David’s initial reaction; but we need to also take note of the things that happened to David later in life. Review 2 Samuel 12, you will see the death of Davids first born from Bathsheba, you will see civil wars and outside attacks on the Israeli kingdom. You will see the violence and murder committed by his two sons Amnon and Absalom. You will see struggle after struggle as David reels from one mess to another. Yet, Bathsheba is one of a handful of women mentioned in the bloodline for Jesus. Selah!

Words cannot accurately describe the fullness of God’s grace offered to us, especially when we are acutely aware of just how widespread sin is in our life. Death is very near. Yet, we know that God justifies us while we are ungodly (Romans 4:5). Nothing we have ever done is out of range for God’s grace and redemption. God invites us to seek his compassion, his pardon, his shelter (Isaiah 55:6-7).

The deeper truth – there is a wonderful balance to Scripture. While grace draws us close to him, we know that bad things may happen in our life to keep us focused on him (see Hebrew 3:15). I see David’s example as proof that God will always embrace us. God wanted his complete attention. Even during the consequences for our actions – our salvation is not at risk. Elohim’s amazing redemption for us is renewed every morning. His mercy will always overpower the troubles we create. Always…

I choose Jesus.

The Internal War

It was my observation; about 44+ years ago, as a baby Christian (only a few years old in Jesus), I was drawn into a very dark situation while involved in helping a church establish a building program. I believed I had been lied to by my district leaders, I felt betrayed and hurt. I was self-focused, heartbroken, but after a short while, that heartbreak turned to vindictive unforgiveness. At first, I convinced myself I had every right feeling this emotion. Then common sense set in, and I knew I was in trouble. For weeks I struggled. I wanted what was right but could not shake loose from the troubles. I prayed, thought I was free, then a few days later, a trigger would actuate my feelings, and I was back in the ditch.

The relentless feeling of righteous anger was a drug that would overpower the small voice pulling the desire of my heart towards forgiveness. Yet I held onto unforgiveness. I prayed openly for mercy and kindness towards the people I was struggling with, but I was way too young in the Lord to enter his rest.

The war inside me was exhausting. It affected my marriage, my children, and my work. There was no relief. One side in me wanted a cease fire the other side in me wanted total victory.

Then a friend of mine, seeing my struggle, talking with friends who also were aware of my struggle decided to enter the fray. He started talking to me about standing down, ending the struggle. I resisted. I wanted victory. Fortunately, he was on a mission. He knew what I did not.

He knew I needed to let go or I would digress into a disabled human, a trophy of Lucifer. He kept showing me passages on forgiveness, I was hopeless. He kept at it. My friend showed me Psalms 130 and helped me to really understand the message from David.

David said — Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord; Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy (Psalms 130:1-2).

I wanted to be free, even if it meant forgiving someone undeserving of my forgiveness and had not even asked for it. I wanted out of the prison I had created. Yet I could not find the door. How do I get out?

David said — If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you (Psalms 130:3-4).

I realized I had been living in a state of oppression from Lucifer, and it was affecting everything. It affected my choices each day. It affected my peace, joy, and happiness each day. In pursuit of a twisted form of justice, I lost sight of God’s goodness, his mercy.

David said — I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his Word, I put my hope. I wait for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning (Psalms 130:5-6).

From a worldly perspective, I convinced myself I was justified to be angry and unforgiving, but from a godly perspective, I saw with fresh eyes that my anger and unforgiveness held me hostage to a lack of joy – my close communion with God and my family had been marred. I was wrong in God’s eyes. I was trying to do his job. I repented.

David said — Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins (Psalms 130:7-8).

I learned all over again about forgiveness, given to me as a gift by the actions of Jesus. His forgiveness had opened the door, then blew out the hinges so it could not close again. The prisoner was me. The Door was clinging to my anger and unforgiveness. My friend had pointed me to the cross and Jesus. My friend helped me put down the crushing burden. My peace returned. The war inside of me was over. My friend knew one thing I did not know. The way out of the problem. He was a blessing to me.

I choose Jesus.